little miss year of the ox

As someone born in the last year of the twentieth century, I myself am not, little miss year of the ox.

I had an idea for this large canvas a long time ago; I was deeply inspired by a microscopic image of a shell cell. Fully intending to replicate this photo, I painted an acrylic underpainting. On the downside, the underpainting itself grew on me as its own piece of work. This left me at a standstill for moving forward with my original plans. On the upside, it left me time to do more research on my reference photo, and led me to the source photographer, of whom has a beautiful collection of microscopic photography art. (I found them months ago; I have since lost their name, but will share when I can find them again).

These two factors led me to an absolute hault; if I paint the reference photo to an exact, then I would be doing an disservice to the original artist, as well as to myself. Additionally, the underpainting had such a fun flow, I felt it could on its own. But, how to push it?

Ultimately, this canvas sat untouched for months.

It stared at me from my living room wall, shaming me for leaving her alone for so long.

Flash forward, almost a year later.

Its April 14, we are approaching the birthday of one of my dear friends, Lauren. I want to make her something. Of course, I have only thought that 4 days ahead of time. What is an artist, if not severely behind schedule, overly ambitious and sentimental?

Now keep in mind, in the year that I have let this canvas shame me, I have tried so many compositions for her, but nothing stuck. How could I balance everything I loved about the underpainting, while creating depth, and elevating the composition???

Thinking about Lauren, I shifted my gaze to this looming, radiant underpainting. Finally, something felt energetically aligned.

I say “something”, because unfortunately, I am an artist who moves improvisionaly; vibes only. I am working hard on fighting this impulsive, though (as I learn and grow in my field, it seems strategy is often the strongest approach to great craftsmanship). But sOmEtIMeS tHe ViBeS jUsT tAkE oVeRRRRRRR!!!!!

The only tether to my impulsive brushstrokes were Lauren, her vibes, and what I felt would represent her. She is a headstrong, loyal, classy gal, and I admire her and her independence, strength, and leadership. She was born the year of the Ox. I felt these qualities aligned, upon doing some research. Perfect.

Something about the underpainting felt true to her as well. Bold, standout, fun.

I fell into flow state.

This is the best best part of painting, and when I am down and out, stuck in a block, it is flow state I remember. The feeling of flow state is absolutley delicious.

Lauren is groovy, fashion forward, original. She needs disco horns and hooves.

As I finished the bull, alongside its little bushes, she felt stuck somewhere between sticker realism and just amateur work. The lack of depth either needed to be reinforced by the composition, made more intentional, or I had to redefine the landscape entirely.

Not wanting to sacrifice the color flow behind the content, I decided to push forward with my sticker realism. For the sake of testing, I quickly painted some clouds on some old trader joes bags, and taped them to the piece.

The change in medium hit me like a train. I loved the sensation that my eyes felt from the change in texture, the way the tacky addition established more intention (in a very camp way, if I may say).

She was complete. With the addition of a bright teal oil pastel strokes, she was vibrant, strong, and most importantly, fun. Just like Lauren.

While in flow state, I actually was pretty close to finishing this piece in time for Lauren’s birthday.

Of course, there was a caviet.

My mistake, was not asking how large I could go that could be appropriate for Lauren and her fiancés home. I learned only after starting, that this canvas was too big for their home.

Fortunately, I was able to knock out another fun piece, more fitted for their room, in time for her birthday. That one is called Lauren; it is another mixed media piece that is more design oriented, mimicking the style of pieces from her Pinterest board regarding her dream sitting room.

Either way, the whole ordeal makes me laugh. In total, these kinds of moments are almost even more important to me. In order tog row as an artist, I have to make ugly art. I have to make great art. I just have to make. I am learning to be faster, more free. Instead of harping on the imperfections of each piece, I am trying to allow them to teach me lessons that I carry forward in new pieces.

So thank you Lauren, for your inspirational vibes, and happy birthday queen.